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massportation

If there is one thing I wish I would never have to partake in for the rest of my life, it would be public transportation.

I hate it.

Back home, I do not ever take public transportation. Mostly because it’s a) dirty, b) I saw someone get knifed once and c) I’m too good for it.

Which brings me to my current life situation; where I rely on massportation. Trust me, while allegedly “eco friendly” it is no way to live. 

Last night on my way home from work, I caught the express train. Please note the use of express in the description of train. So, I’m on the express and one stop away from freedom, I mean…getting off the train. We come to an abrupt hault. Really, MTA? REALLY!?

{via}

 And we wait…for literally five minutes, which trust me on the subway feels like 4 hours, for the stupid announcement, “we are being delayed because of train traffic ahead of us. we apologize for any inconvenience”. To which I shouted “BULLSHIT!!!” Okay, I didn’t shout, but I did throw a little tanrum.

Here is the issue “train traffic” as it were, doesn’t exist. Why? Because they know how many fucking trains they have. You mean to tell me some 5 trains were super sneaky and got onto the tracks without anyone knowing? Please.

So we wait longer. And now I’m looking around at the lovely ads; Greyhound & a plastic surgeon. Adding insult to injury are we? More shittastic public transportation and a cosmetic surgeon of such a high caliper that he advertises on the subway and has numerous ways to finance your procedures. I want to die. Not to mention, there was what I presume to be water drip, drip, dripping on the top of the train. Much like a ticking time bomb.

Five more minutes pass.

The conductor gets on the P.A. and says that because of an ill customer at 86th street the 6 trains are running like assholes and we’re all fucked.

Say what?

Is this the FIRST time you’ve had a medical emergency? I think not, NYC. Get it together.

I prayed a lot last night. Mostly for a small fortune and a insanely successful comedy career because I swear , if I have to keep partaking in massportation, I’ll get home in a bad mood every night. 

hypo-chondria

Have you ever met someone who has a headache and thinks they have a brain tumor? Or one of those people who has a pain in their chest and is convinced they’re going into cardiac arrest? How about someone with stomach pain who thinks they have appendicitis?

Guys, last night I convinced myself I had appendicitis and ended almost a year of not self-diagnosing via WebMD.

There goes that streak.

But seriously, when you have pains on your right side and loss of appetite, what else do you have?

You may ask why I gave up WebMD. Well, right now I’m convicinving myself I have other symptoms that are aligned with said appendicitis like nausea and vomiting. Yea, I can make myself puke. It’s not that impressive.

So I know that I probably don’t have appendicitis and that it is all in my head. Like the heart attack I was having or my brain tumor. Or when the student health center thought I had DVTs while my parents were on vacay in Cabo.

Please, please, please tell me I’m not the only one who does this.

And with all that craziness, I leave you with this lovely photo taken from my hotel room during the last vacation I went on. In 2008…no…I’m not bitter.

stripes, stripes baby

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know that I’m still decorating our apartment. No, we didn’t move in nearly six months ago. A girl needs to take her time. Especially when that girl works…a lot. So cut me some slack.

I wanted to do something fun in what we affectionately call “the little room”. I went back and forth between using Tempaper, or a super dark color, or a light color. But when I saw this on Court + Hudson, I knew exactly what we would do.

Stripes.

Not just any stripes. No, no. Gold stripes.

When I told my boyfriend the fate of the little room via text, the conversation unfolded as follows:
         Me: I want to paint the little room first.
         BF: Oh really?
         Me: Yes, gold stripes.
         BF: Gold stripes? Have you ever painted before?
         Me: What do you think? (Clearly the answer is no. I have supervised a number of painting
                 projects which counts for painting, no?)
        BF: This sounds like something I should be involved in.
        Me: Whatever.

Friday we went to the Depot (read Home Depot) and got all the essentials. I used Martha Stewart’s precious metals in Tigers Eye. Mostly because I liked the color but partially because I like the song by Survivor.

Saturday we taped. With nearly 10′ ceilings, the boyfriend made 11 3/8″ stripes and taped them. I watched and made sure they were straight. I also held the tape. I’m obviously very handy.

And after a few hours we had lots of tape.

Yes, those cords are there for good. Yes, they piss me off. That is what happens when you need to run cable from your front door to your bedroom. Deal with it.

And on the 7th day, they painted.

{isn’t it lovely?}

Line by line, corner by corner we painted the five walls of the room. We still have bits to touch up but I’ve been informed that “in construction, nothing is perfect”.

{swiffer me timbers}

What do you think? I love it. We’re getting a new couch and I’m not nearly done yet but at least I can scratch “paint stripes on walls” off the list.

My Dad said “Wow, he must really love you, he did a good job!”

Thanks, Dad.

five things with the saga of a twentysomething

Since you all really enjoyed my post last Friday, I thought it would be fun to have some of my favorite bloggers over here to share five things about them that you probably don’t know.

First up is the lovely Alex who is a blog friend turned real-friend. Homegirl is hilarious and I heart her, so you should too. Plus, she knows her way around most Asian food menus. This comes in handy and I’m being serious.

——————————————–

 Hey all! Alex here, from the saga of a twenty-something. Oh, you’ve never seen my blog before. BAM. Go look. Oh, you love my blog? Thanks, love ya too.

me + my cute pup Toby

So our lovely friend Christin asked me to share five things about myself with you all, things that you probably didn’t know about me before. Prepare to have your mind blown.

1 | I almost drowned once. When I was a youngin’, I was at the beach with my family. There I was, innocently playing in the shallow water. WHOOSH. There goes little Alex. Off into the undertow. I don’t remember a whole lot of what happened, but a lovely beach-goer did save me. By pulling me out by my hair. I lost a huge chunk of hair (resulting in a massive bald spot for some miserable amount of time), but I lived. So I guesssss it’s a good tradeoff.

2 | I was a 10-pound baby. Let that one sink in for a little bit…

3 | I don’t know how to roll my Rs. Don’t bother trying to teach me. It’s not going to happen. French class was always miserable for me.

4 | I’m a classically trained violinist. I don’t really talk about this a lot on the Interwebz. But yeah, my violin skillz are off the hook. For 12 years, I planned on becoming a professional violinist. I used to doodle myself wearing New England Conservatory sweatshirts. It was seriously out of control.

5 | Apparently, I talk in my sleep. I can’t actually tell if this one’s the truth. I don’t believe it. But apparently it’s true. So says the goober who shares my bed.

goober.

So there it is. Five things about myself. Still want to know more? Come on over to my blog, stay while.