the road not taken

When I was 10-years-old I got an award that no one had ever received. It was an award at dance, but it wasn’t about dancing. It was about being able to make other dancers laugh. To make tense situations less tense with my quick wit.

Yes, I was making this happen at the right bold age of 10.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this. So I suppose I’ll cut right to the chase. I’ve never done something I wasn’t good at. If I wasn’t good at it, or I didn’t like it, I quit. Pretty simple. I guess you could either call me a quitter or a perfectionist.

But lately I feel like I’m failing at everything. My apartment is always in shambles, I rarely make dinner, I don’t make time for friends and I feel like this blog is going nowhere, fast.

Maybe it’s the stress of my everyday life, but I have a lot of blogxiety lately. Yes, I just made that up. Is it just me or am I failing? Am I still funny? Do people like the shit I write? Do people even care about reading a blog that makes them laugh or do they want to look at pretty pictures and partake in the seemingly perfect life of the blogger?

Am I wasting my energy? Did I pick the wrong title for my blog? Does it pigeon hole me? Do people really expect me to be mean all the time?

These are just a few things I’ve been thinking about lately. I envy all the bloggers who have turned their blogs into jobs, but is that even possible for me? Where would this lead? What would I do?
I suppose it is because the path isn’t as obvious. Because my blog isn’t as obvious.

Rarely do I post things of such a serious nature, so I apologize if you came here for a laugh today. Actually, I don’t. Sorry I’m not sorry.