Do you ever wake up and think that people have been put on this planet just to piss you off? If you answered yes to this question, welcome to my life.

I feel like lately I wish I kept a sharpened tooth brush, straight up prison style, in my back pocket for that moment when some assclown asks me the same question for the third time. I’m not saying that I’m murderous, but I mean, I think some people are seriously asking to be mortally wounded.

Catch me at the wrong time of the day and the only thing you’ll get from me is a very under-enthusiastic eye roll. Wait five minutes after that eye roll and I’m going at your jugular, guns blazing.


The above statement could not be truer.

Tomorrow is Friday and I am ex-cited!

Also, if you can tell me which movie I got the title of this post from I’ll be extremely impressed.