Everyone, stop what you’re doing right now and seriously pay attention. I’m talking a relative was just injured paying attention. I was informed by a good friend that the world’s most amazing browser plugin has been invented. This literally solves every single one of my problems.
Except the problem where I’m too lazy to manually hide all the losers that I’m friends with who feel the need to post photos of their children every.waking.second.of.the.day. And the problem where I don’t care to take the effort to actually defriend all a fore mentioned people.
We just circumvented my first problem with this plugin that turns pictures of your kid into cute kitties in my news feed. There IS a god. Okay, I guess I should clarify that. I have about five friends who have kids that I actually want to see and they are also people whom I follow on instagram. So I don’t need to double up on photos.
I do not care about your kid being potty trained, going on casting calls, or generally just laying around. I am not entertained, nor does it cross my mind as to what they’re doing with their days while I’m at work being a productive adult. Let’s make a deal, you can post pictures of your kid when they learn long division. Until then, I’ll look at the kitties.
Because who doesn’t love cats. And if you don’t love cats, you can get bent. For serious.
If I ever dare choose to procreate and treat my vagina like a clown car, I will not be posting pictures of my child all over Facebook and the respective social media platforms because that is where child molesters find their prey. Or so I hear from 20/20 or those 48 hours specials.
Mostly, I just find the idea of this utterly hilarious. The plugin scans your newsfeed for keywords like “cute” and such and replaces it with pics of cats. I’m going to give it a whirl but I’m going to be pissed if it converts pictures of my friends “cute” animals to pictures of crying babies.