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staring is not caring

Walking around NYC with a fat lip and scab on your face teaches you a lot of things. Mostly that people have seen weirder things and will still stare you down.

What was very interesting is that women did not stare me down. But every single man I saw couldn’t look away. However, none of them asked me what happened.

It was weird.  Real weird.

On several occasions I wanted to walk up to said businessman and say, “yea, I have a scab on my face and a fat lip, what of it douchelord?” To the kids staring me down in the subway I wanted to scream “stop looking at me or I will mess you up even worse than this!”

The good news is that this weekend my scab fell off, so no more staring. The seriously weird news is that my boyfriend and I will now have identical scars. No joke. Both on the right sides of our mouth, below our lip. That is not normal.

Also, we went to Trader Joe’s yesterday and now have enough ketchup and salsa to last the next six months. God, I love productive weekends.

five things with sequins & stripes

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned how much I love this series, but I do, a lot. I, like you, am learning so many fun things about my favorite bloggers.

Today we have the lovely Liz from Sequins & Stripes and if you haven’t heard of her you’ve obviously been living under a rock. If I could, I would live in her closet. That is the truth. She has amazing style, is absolutely beautiful, and here’s the kicker: she owns her own styling business!

1. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, I have this feeling that I am meant to own a bakery. I haven’t let this little voice speak too often, but maybe in my next life I will fulfill my love of coffee, croissants, cupcakes, macarons, and homemade donuts by opening up a little shop of my own!

2. I have {and still sleep with! omg} a stuffed animal. He is a polar bear and his name is Polie, he has been with me since the day I was born and is a part of my family {seriously, my parents worry about him like a child}. He doesn’t look like a stuffed animal anymore, sorta like a polar bear pancake. Dave {my boyfriend} hates it so much! I can’t believe I just told you that.
3. I am really impatient and I think it is such a terrible quality. 

4. When I first started offering my styling services to clients, I was terrified. I would start sweating and I’m sure all of them thought I was completely awkward and like “wtf is she doing as a stylist?” I’m happy to say that I’ve found my confidence, thank god!
5. When I was younger, I was an American Girl Doll model. I would do fashion shows, dress in colonial outfits, and sign autographs. Haha, that was weird.

Seriously, she’s a celebrity! Do you know any former American Girl Doll models? I surely don’t. Go visit Liz and tell her how much you enjoyed #2 like I did. I have a Fievel, yes the American Tail. He lives at home with my parents because apparently “grown women sleep with men and not stuffed animals” or some b.s. like that. 

lip service

Last night my boyfriend thought he was going to bed early. I had other plans.

Like most New Yorkers, we have a window A/C unit, which is fine but it seriously dries out the air so like any idiot, I have a humidifier. Last night the water was low, so I took the jug into the bathroom to fill it up.

That happened without incident.

When I bent over to put the jug back on the base, I wasn’t over the floor, I was standing right above my dresser. I smacked my mouth on the side of the dresser. I would like to thank IKEA for actually using some sort of wood and not plywood, because that would have been a bit softer.

I did a real good job too.

There was a lot of blood. I seriously cut the inside of my lip and through my face to right below my lip on the outside. We called my parents because working in Finance and Advertising, respectively, we aren’t doctors.

I threw up. I almost passed out. I couldn’t breathe normally.

But then I had an ice pack on my face and we watched an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent where a perp was arrested right out front of the building across the street. My building was on TV, guys!

So now I have a lovely scab and a really full lower lip.

Can I go home now?

spring has sprung

The weather lately has left a lot to be desired. Basically, mother nature is being a huge bitch and can’t make up her mind. Shocker.

But I can’t stop looking at these photos and hoping for warmer days.

And for good measure, some happy thoughts for this Thursday because its almost Friday and that means it’s almost time to get drunk. For some of us, we’ll get drunk right now.

Oh and another thing, I have a huge announcement and it is very exciting. Can’t wait to share it with you but for now you’ll have to wait! 
Get excited though, it’s freaking awesome.